So i have this weird quirk about me, that i find annoying but most people dont know me well enough to realize. I am extremely paranoid when it comes to friends. for some reason i feel like when they dont respond to my msgs or txts that they are together taclking about me. idk y i think it but i do. and theni get put in these random pissy moods..which i think have to do with my life turning into a shit hole slowly because i ant find work and my mother financially disowned me, oh and the divorce of my parents which i have yet to have any emotion about. im psychologically messed up a lil from holding in pretty much every emotion to make sure others feel good. i always put myself second which pisses me off but its against my nature to act otherwise. and i wonder why i want to cut myself..gosh now i sound like an emo kid. which im not, ima very happy person who gets very sad once in a while, especially when my brain decides to go on overload and think about too many things at one time which is kinda whats happening now im gonna go eat some shrimp and play with a knife now..its stupid but it makes me feel better <how many ppl who want to cut admit that its stupid?>