So, i met my roomate at one of my friends party so she can follow me to another one..well so im driving and once in a while instead of goin 45 i went like 50, big woop. ive driven around that area like 60 times in the past few months. ne, so we get to the party and out of no where, she asks "what side of the road do you drive on?" and im like i drive on the left, i dont like the curb being on my right cuz i cant really see it. and she is like "sweety, noooo. drive on the riight side." and her friend was like "omg, ur a terrifying driver" and then for the rest of the night she'd randomly be like "drive on the right side of the road"...uumm jus cuz u had ur license before me doesnt make u the grand poobah of the road. It was so fucking obnoxious..and the thing is, i researched it today and she was completely wrong. Where we live, u only HAVE to drive in the right lane if ur going below the speed limit..and that rule is if ur driving on the damn highway...it may be like highway driving here but its still sity limits. And the crazy thing is, ive been driving with her in the car and ive usedher car on my own and no one has complained about driving, especially her. but all of a sudden now im a "teriffying driver"? and this coming from someone who i believe doesnt have their license? like really, take ur fucking shades off, u are not the best driver in the world.

Oh, another thing..she goes on and on about wanting to save the earth and pointing out other ppls not so eco friendly flaws. but when she drives, she slams on the accelerator, she has the ac blowing almost full blast when the windows are down and she isnt always concious of saving gas cuz all she has to do is run to daddy for a gas check. she leaves the light in her room on all night and sometimes all day even when its not needed, her computer is contantly on..and its not like its on hibernate so it uses less power, she just turn off the screen...ok this is turning into me explaining the things about my roomate that kinda bother me lol..its prob good im letting it out ne way.

This is th last thing, i think. lmao. Iam the only one who cleans the apartment! and she had the nerve to say talk about how she "scrubed" the bathtub when she got back from study abroad. she has cleaned, not the bathroom but just the tub..i have scrubbed that bathroom from top to bottom, the kitchen i am always cleaning. washing all the dishes she leaves sitting there for weeks. she uses the forks and stuff and then just leaves them there. she only washes 1 if she is about to use it then she leaves it in the sink again! Dont get me wrong, she is a god roomate, its just that im alawys cleaning and then her friends take cheap shots at me and she lets it happen. that isnt best friend behavior. and really, since she has been partying <in more way than one> she hasnt reall lived up to that title.and i have. i wake up early in themorning to wake her up for class, i clean, i run errands for her, i listen to all her boy drama/crazy <as she calls it> or whatever problems she is going thru. and im not feeling that inreturn like i used to. like lately ive been more aggravated than happy. its not all her fault, its mostly not being able to find work but she isnt helping the situation, jus makin it worse, ya know?

ugh, im gonna go work on a design project now, take my mind of this shit.

Oh boy , this is funny. my roomate..who has never had to work for anything... is on my back more so than my mom lately about me finding work. now i can understand u being like..hey, u shuld try here or u shuld try there, but to be like.."u need to stop sleeping during the day and find a job" is not acceptable. especially after i was explaining how my energy has been like oddly low lately. and ive had this one sided headache that has been plagueing me for like two weeks and counting. Im just really sick of it cuz its not like im not trying..and she told me that i can use her car to look for work while she is in class and all of a sudden now she is gonna "write down the bus schedule and leave me $5"...way to keep ur word.

and what also pisses me off is that ive been the only person cleaning the apt since dec and when ppl talk about how the apt looks.she uses the word "we" when talking about cleaning..like today i was talking to one of her friends about the ant problem the apt has and how i mopped and cleaned the kitchen and they like multiplied..out of no where she starts sayin "yea we wuld scrub the floors and they just eep coming". i swear, i wanted to be like."we scrubbed?" lol, but i was nice. She never cleans, unless its her room and thats only if a boy she likes is coming over...she'll do her room and then il do the rest of the apt...as usual. im gettin sick of it. ugh. and i was supposed to go to sleep but i got too ADD and started lookin stuff up..which sucks cuz i have to go to urgent care about my headache among other things..then i gotta look for work, and after all that buy some groceries with wat little money i have and then look at an apt my friends are interested in. life is just great u know.

So i have this weird quirk about me, that i find annoying but most people dont know me well enough to realize. I am extremely paranoid when it comes to friends. for some reason i feel like when they dont respond to my msgs or txts that they are together taclking about me. idk y i think it but i do. and theni get put in these random pissy moods..which i think have to do with my life turning into a shit hole slowly because i ant find work and my mother financially disowned me, oh and the divorce of my parents which i have yet to have any emotion about. im psychologically messed up a lil from holding in pretty much every emotion to make sure others feel good. i always put myself second which pisses me off but its against my nature to act otherwise. and i wonder why i want to cut myself..gosh now i sound like an emo kid. which im not, ima very happy person who gets very sad once in a while, especially when my brain decides to go on overload and think about too many things at one time which is kinda whats happening now im gonna go eat some shrimp and play with a knife now..its stupid but it makes me feel better <how many ppl who want to cut admit that its stupid?>